Journey of Faith

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I’ve never given up on a relationship before.

I’ve had relationships where we had a “falling out”. I still think about these relationships.

But this one, this one hurts and I don’t know if there are benefits, right now I can’t see them. Right now I’m in more pain than anything else, right now there are more tears than smiles.

I don’t feel like friendship or any relationship should be this difficult. I know relationships are work…but this is too much.

Maybe I’m too much.

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I’m pretty sure I’ve said it before…probably at least 5 times, but I’m gonna say it again. 

I love my therapist!

had a great session today. 

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Anonymous asked: But doesn't that imply being gay is a sin?

I can see where you are coming from. 

I’m not trying to imply being gay is a sin. 

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Anonymous asked: Why did you reblog that question about homosexuality? That person is basically saying it's a sin and that when we stop condemning it then people will work on it. Just wondering.

I reblogged it because of the answer. 

All of us are sinners. 

All of us are continually being worked on by God. He is the potter we are the clay. 

No matter our sin or our struggle we are to offer ourselves to God for God to use us to further His Kingdom. 

I believe one’s relationship with God is a very personal thing. I think that when you continually offer yourself to God and open yourself up to Him, lay yourself before Him - there is a transparency there. You see who you truly are and you see who God truly is. 

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A Christian is not distinguished by his political views, or moral decisions, or habitual conduct, or personal piety, or, least of all, by his churchly activities. A Christian is distinguished by his radical esteem for the Incarnation — to use the traditional jargon — by his reverence for the life of God in the whole of Creation, even and, in a sense, especially, Creation in the travail of sin.

The characteristic place to find a Christian is among his very enemies.

The first place to look for Christ is in Hell.

William Stringfellow, A Private and Public Faith (via locusimperium)

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Pay close attention to how many children are from the same family.

Please keep in mind that the name, age, sex and location of only 132 of the 155 Palestinian children killed (correct as of 22 July 2014) was able to be gathered (collected by Al Mezan Centre for Human Rights).

What’s even more heartbreaking is that the speed of which Israel continues its ethnic cleansing of Palestine means death toll figures become outdated every hour.

(Source: standwithpalestine, via chroniclingmontax)

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I miss you.

The days might be getting easier, and I might not think of you as often, at the end of the day I still miss you.

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I’m trying to learn how to disconnect or not let my emotional attachment get in the way of having a healthy friendship. 

does that make sense? 

I’m emotionally attracted to women. If there is an emotional connection - I’m done for. 

So I’m trying to learn how to separate being emotionally attracted and being emotionally connected to somebody. 

I think having an emotional connection is good, I simply need to learn that having that connection doesn’t necessarily mean anything.  Being able to share things and have an emotional connection is healthy. Learning not to read into that connection is difficult. 

I want more, and I think deep within myself I know that I want an emotional connection…so when I sense that I have one, I start to read into the relationship and what the other might see the relationship as. 

The yearning is so deep that the only thing I’m looking out for is my needs.  If my needs are filled and if I am happy then I’m good. It is not that I don’t want the other person to be happy or that I don’t care about them - because I do. Rather I’m so focused on having my needs met that I forget that a relationship takes two people. 

Honestly, learning how to have a healthy relationship is so difficult. It would be so easy to not talk to people and to stay secluded by myself…but I don’t feel like that is what God wants me to do (I also don’t really want to do it either). 

Filed under my journey relationships